


say the word (but only with the curve of your lips and the way you echo against my eardrums)

by EJ (girlwitham4carbine)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Birthday, M/M, the anniversary of the day on which a person was born, the word of the day is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 09:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1774900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlwitham4carbine/pseuds/EJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray was starting to enjoy the small notes he received from the older man; they were cute and thoughtful, and for some reason making Joel think of his coworker. They had been silly since the beginning of this little game, so Ray wasn’t really sure when that started to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	say the word (but only with the curve of your lips and the way you echo against my eardrums)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Amari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amari/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMARI!! The word of the day is... birthday! It's defined as the anniversary on which a person was born. Your's is today <3  
> I decided to finally write this for you. I hope everyone enjoys!
> 
> Original prompt here: http://remember-the-mole.tumblr.com/post/51098917319/joelay-prompt-word-of-the-day-calendar  
> Cross posted on Tumblr here: http://ejraptor.tumblr.com/post/88584060924/say-the-word-but-only-with-the-curve-of-your-lips-and

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. A single idea can come across only through a captured image; the intense power of nature, the complexity of human creativity, even love hidden behind a simple smile. But that doesn’t really give words much credit, does it? 

Sounds must form letters, letters must form words, words must form phrases and phrases must form sentences. They must be grammatically correct, syntax impeccable and ideas clearly articulated by the person whose pen is poised to write them down.

Sentences to paragraphs, paragraphs to chapters, chapters to a story. Doesn’t sound so easy now, does it?

Words have a power pictures do not, and many have a hard time grasping that. But those like Thoreau, Emerson, Shakespeare and Shelley, have succeeded. Each word had an important use, special and unique, to capture exactly what they wanted their readers to take home with them; whether that be concepts as familiar as love or friendship, or concepts as hard to understand as isolation and death.

A lot of people take the power of words for granted nowadays, skipping letters for numbers for the sake of efficiency. BRB for “Don’t worry, I’m not leaving you”, TTYL for “I can’t wait to talk to you again”, and less than 3 for the words “I love you”. Words are losing their meaning, forcing them to the dusty shelves and corners of the attics of our brains. 

So maybe, in his daily thrum of technology and emails, Joel could really use a ‘Word-A-Day’ calendar. Because, as Burnie told him when he handed him the small block of paper a few days before Christmas, “A word a day will keep the cobwebs in that thick skull of yours away.”

The block escaped Joel’s mind for awhile, his brain becoming even more scattered as he drank the rest of the year away. When he returned to work a few days into January (finally over the hard hangover that was a result of drinking for a week straight) he saw the calendar sitting on its stand, set up and already on the correct date. He figured it was also Burnie’s doing, knowing Joel would be too uninterested in even freeing the damn thing of its plastic confines. As Joel sat down and set about beginning his work day, he flipped through the calendar, skimming the words towards the middle and end of the New Year.

He wasn’t sure what to do with the pages as he began to rip them out; he would keep some that piqued his curiosity, while others he would use for a game of trashcan basketball with Adam. He didn’t get the idea to cast them onto other people until he got a word that reminded him of a certain Puerto Rican coworker of his.

===

The first word that found its way onto Ray’s desk was nonsensical; it was taped to the front of his monitor when he came back from lunch. He could see the scraggly writing on it from the door.

> _shiv·a·ree_
> 
> _\ˌshi-və-ˈrēˌ\ n: a noisy mock serenade to a newly married couple, with kettles, pans, horns, and other noisemakers_
> 
> _**That’s you. You seem like the type to start banging pots and pans at Michael and Lindsay’s wedding – Joel** _

It makes him chuckle, earning him a few over-the-shoulder looks from his coworkers. He decides to tape the paper up with the rest of his artwork wallpaper anyway, plopping down into his chair and booting up his equipment for the day. Ray quickly forgets about the note, passing it off as a onetime Joel-ism.

_===_

The next one shows up a few weeks later, this time taped to Ray’s Xbox One controller. The note looks a lot shorter, but the handwriting definitely Joel’s.

> _boo·boi·sie_
> 
> _\ˌbüb-ˌwä-ˈzē\ n: the general public regarded as consisting of boobs (a stupid, awkward person)_
> 
> _**Ha. Boob. You’re totally a boob – Joel** _

He hears laughter from just outside the door, and he turns to see none other than the culprit himself, with a wide shit-eating grin on his face. The corners of Ray’s mouth turned upwards and he called out to the other man.

“You calling me a boob, Heyman?”

The grin grew wider before the man disappeared around the corner. But Ray still heard his comeback loud and clear.

“I ain’t calling you shit!”

What a brat.

===

Ray had gotten various words over the next few months, garish ( _adj: loud and flashy),_ diminutive ( _adj: extremely small in size) and_ ghastly ( _adj: shockingly repellent; inspiring horror / **Isn’t that a Pokemon? –Joel**_ ) to name a few. Ray was starting to enjoy the small notes he received from the older man; they were cute and thoughtful, and for some reason making Joel think of his coworker. They had been silly since the beginning of this little game, so Ray wasn’t really sure when that started to change.

> _ca·pri·cious_
> 
> _\kə-ˈpri-shəs, -ˈprē-\ adj:  characterized by or subject to whim; impulsive and unpredictable_
> 
> **_You’re so fucking impulsive sometimes. Youth these days – Joel_ **

“Hey Ray, wanna go grab some lunch or something?”

Joel was hanging onto the doorframe, looking like an overjoyed child when he saw that his coworker was alone in the small office. Ray had stayed behind to finish some achievement guides, turning down multiple offers for fast food from the other Hunters and friends. Joel came around just as he started to get to work, bringing everything to a halt in the classic Joel fashion.

“Huh? We never go out to lunch together, why ask now?”

Ray wasn’t opposed to the idea, far from it actually. It was just strange; the fanbase was right about their lack of interaction, rarely working on any videos or projects together. But they were quite comfortable with one another, enjoying the other’s company whenever they took a break or crossed paths when it came to work.

The older man shrugged at Ray’s questioning stare. “Just thought I’d be a little capricious today.”

Ray perked up at his use of the word. He squinted at Joel, eyebrows furrowing as he saw the other’s expression turn to one of mirth.

“You’re acting like a grade-schooler with a vocabulary book. Let’s just go already.”

Ray made it a point to ignore just how pleased the other was when he stood and walked out of the office.

_===_

“You skip lunch too much, Joel.”

“I’m just getting my work done… like you should be doing.”

“Hey, I have a much better work ethic than you.”

Joel hummed, grabbing more papers among the tornado that was his desk. “What, have you missed having lunch with me, kid?”

Ray scoffed at that, turning back towards the hallway to hide the embarrassed look currently finding its way onto his face.

“Not in the slightest, old man.”

Ever since the older man had invited him to lunch weeks ago, it was as if a barrier had been broken between Joel and Ray; their lunch outings had become an every other day-ly basis, both men venturing out of their work zones to collect their lunch buddy and see what was on the menu for the day. Their coworkers were glad for this, Joel pushing the younger out of his comfort zone called inside and Ray forcing the other man to actually eat during the day.

But lately, Joel had been retracting back into his work once again. Now, when Ray came to his office, it was with the slight hope the older man would be standing ready to go, rather than hunched over his keyboard with a glazed look in his eyes.

So Ray sighed and he made his way back to his desk, stopping in the kitchen to grab something from the fridge that could hold him until 5 o’clock. He found a slice of leftover pizza from the podcast and a weird-flavored granola bar, trudging back into the Achievement Hunter office to eat in silence. Just as he sat down and had the pizza inches from his mouth, he caught a glimpse of white from the corner of his eye. A folded piece of paper sat in his Snorlax plush’s hands, and he could see the bleed of the Sharpie through the folds. He placed his food back onto the plate, reaching out to grab the note between his fingers and carefully open it.

> _pro·lif·ic_
> 
> _\prə-ˈli-fik\ adj: productive, producing abundant works or results_
> 
> **_You don’t like to admit it, but sometimes, you work just as hard as I do. I must be rubbing off on you - Joel_ **

He felt a tug at the corner of his lips, a small smile finding its way onto his face despite himself. He quickly taped the note among the others on his wall, returning to his lunch and mulling over today’s note and what Joel’s own words meant.

_===_

Ray could hear the shouting long before he finds himself at Joel’s office door.

It was deafening, everything other than the two voices going silent in the section of the building. Ray heard Burnie spitting something venomous and unintelligible at the other man, and just by the tone, he knew Joel was about to crack. Ray didn’t like how Joel’s voice sounds like it’s ripping the air around them when he finally started screaming back.

Ray steeled himself and entered a few minutes later, causing the two men already in the room to go silent. He couldn’t even face their gazes, keeping his head low to the ground to avoid them. After awhile, Burnie muttered something that sounded like “We’ll talk about this later, Joel” and brushed past the gamer in the doorway. Stepping all the way into the room, Ray closed the door behind him before walking over to sit on the elder’s desk.

It was quiet. Too fucking quiet after just how loud that argument was. They could hear each other breathing and shifting, and it took what felt like an eternity for one of them to speak up.

“I.. I know you heard us. What do you think?”

Ray finally met the other’s eyes, which looked just as tired as the man himself did. He wanted to reach out to him but he refrained. He needed to give the man what he needed to hear.

“You're an idiot, Joel."

Joel’s eyes grew wide like saucers. He opened his mouth to quickly rebut but just as quickly closed it, taking a moment to think before speaking.

"Ray, what the hell? I thought you cared about me." It came out as a joke, Joel trying his best to lighten the heavy tension hanging over them. It failed, and the room suddenly felt small; the younger’s eyes were like a prison locking him in place there.

 " I care enough about you to tell you you're being an idiot.”

Ray started to explain exactly why he was an idiot, keeping the man’s gaze no falter. Joel felt like a young child being scolded, laughing inwardly at the irony of the situation: Ray was _young_. He was perched upon his desk, legs swinging and pattering against it. The Puerto Rican was a lot smaller than him, child-like in appearance with a fair face and doe-like eyes. But the words that came out of him were in no way childish.

Joel knew he was right. But Joel was also a little too stubborn to admit that.

So he focused on why Ray was saying these things in the first place, why he felt the need to lay out the exact reasons why he had screwed up. _‘Maybe he cares about you’,_ the voice in the back of his mind suggested, which he promptly ignored in favor of asking the man himself.

“Why are you telling me all this?”

The answer was quick, and honestly what he should have expected. “Because I care about you. And honestly, you need someone telling you you’re an idiot once in awhile.”

He left without another word, leaving Joel to mull over his argument with Burnie and his talk with the younger man. He knew he had to go apologize to his long-time friend and immediately set about doing so. It was easier than he thought it would be, the two back to joking and laughing not 5 minutes after Joel came bumbling into his office with apologies at the ready. He walked back to his office, attention drifting to his calendar to the side of his desk. It was a few days behind, so he quickly set to correcting it. Among the now loose papers, he found a word that immediately brought his mind back to Ray.

Quickly scribbling on it with a Sharpie, he made his way back down and slipped into the Achievement Hunter office as soundly as possible. They were in the middle of a recording, what exactly Joel couldn’t tell from his angle. It was Gavin who saw him first, turning to him with a questioning look but remaining silent. Joel took that chance to move over to Ray, slapping the note to back of his head and barreling back out of the room. He heard curses and exclamations fly out with him, but he could care less as he knew Ray would get his message.

And with a hand the welt forming on his head, Ray got it.

> _un·swerv·ing_
> 
> _\\-ˈswər-viŋ\ adj: not changing or becoming weaker, always staying strong_
> 
> **_I wish I could be like that. Like you. Thanks for knocking some sense into me -Joel_ **

Ray let out a breath of laughter. “But you’re the one who knocked me.”

===

They were filming something together when the next word showed up (neither of them could remember the exact scene behind them or the particular short). This time, it was thrust into Ray’s face while he was knocked forward by a sudden weight on his shoulders. Obviously, that sudden weight had a scruffy beard that dug into his shoulder and went by the name of Joel.

“Hi Joel.”

“Hi Ray.”

“Can you stop fondling my face?”

“Nope.”

“Joooooelll.” The paper crackled against Ray’s cheek as Joel continued his assault on the younger man’s face.

Joel had gotten extremely close in the past few weeks. Physically close (not that kind of close). As in Joel seemed to be wherever Ray went, often coming to bug him and the other Hunters in their downtime or just pulling him aside in the hallway to have lengthy talks about anything and everything. It was weird for Ray to be seeing him so often now, when before he only saw the man once in a blue moon.

He would poke at him, mess with his desk, hair, games, _anything_ belonging to Ray fair game. But Ray couldn’t say he minded the attention. Just like the words that often found their way to him, the younger man has started to really enjoy Joel’s company.

Except when he was literally clinging to him with most of his body weight and nearly sending them both to the ground.

The older man just continued to push the paper at Ray’s face, pushing off his glasses and rendering him unable to read the words Joel so desperately wanted him to read in the first place. So he grabbed the object from the other’s hand, pushing his eyewear back in place and trying to discern the scrawl on it.  

> _san·guine_
> 
> _\ˈsaŋ-gwən\ adj: cheerfully optimistic, hopeful, or confident_
> 
> **_You’re always such a RAY of sunshine in my otherwise bleak day. Stop sucking up all my happy, asshole - Joel_ **

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Heyman?”

Ray tried his best to turn around under the other’s mass, shoulders tensing as he glared. The older man started laughing, vibrations coursing through Joel’s chest into Ray’s back. It made his brain pause for a second, faltering and giving Joel his chance to speak.

“Exactly what it says. Give me my happy back.”

Joel released the younger man, letting him turn around to face the grin plastered there. Ray just let out a snort.

“You seem pretty happy already; you tackled me like you turned back into a 5 year old.”

“If you won’t give me my happy back, I have to stay around you. Pure and simple.”

Ray was ready to argue about his inane logic when he suddenly had a face full of Joel.

It was a simple misstep. But Joel was close. Far too close.

Ray had unconsciously moved forward just enough while Joel bent his head to pluck at a string on his shirt. It was a move that could have come straight out of a shitty direct-to-DVD romantic comedy.

Joel’s hand had come up to ghost over his hip, his face was centimeters from his own, and Ray could feel small puffs of breath hitting his cheek if he paid enough attention. Which was proving very difficult as his eyes met the older man’s.

Ray tried to stop his mind as it began to run over every single detail it could take in of the man before him. He couldn’t bring himself to, not when he saw how dark and deep his eyes were, and the organized insanity that was his hair, and how his lips were a pale pink-

Suddenly, Ray was being shoved. Hard.

He nearly fell backwards onto the cold tile, eyes shooting to the other man flabbergasted. But anger left the Puerto Rican as he saw Joel’s face: his eyes were wide, wider than he’d ever seen them and filled with fear. His mouth was turned into a grimace, almost like he was in pain.

“I have to go.”

The words rushed past his lips, and they hardly registered to Ray until Joel was halfway down the hallway.

Unbeknownst to the younger man, Joel had been doing the same; eyes raking over Ray’s features and drinking it in like it was the finest liquor. He hadn’t meant to fall this far, and he suddenly realized the extent of the slippery slope he had been on since he had given him that first word.

So he ran. And he didn’t stop, even when his legs found him in the comfort of his own home, his mind still kept running.

_===_

After that, Joel disappeared.

He didn’t fall off the face of the Earth, but it sure felt like that to Ray. No more lunches together. No more bothering the gamer while he was legitimately working. Whenever Ray decided to pay him a visit, the other man would conveniently be in a meeting or busy “doing whatever it is Joel does”.

By the first week, it had left him a little lonely.

By the second week, it had started to really piss him off.

And by the third, well. He was  _really_  pissed off.

He missed Joel. He really missed him, and he wasn’t sure why he felt like there was a gaping hole in his chest at the thought that he would be gone for good. _‘You care about him, he’s your friend’_  his mind tried to offer, but it didn’t feel right. He did care about him of course, but he felt himself desiring that closeness they had shared those weeks ago. Where he could feel the other man so close, watching his eyes stare back into his own and their breath mingling between them- he didn’t want to stop his mind this time, not as he realized just exactly what these feelings were.

Of course, his coworkers figured it out much quicker than Ray had. And as much as he… enjoyed Michael and Gavin’s teasing, Ryan and Jack’s knowing stares, and Geoff’s comforting words, it didn’t do much to alleviate the fact that Joel wasn’t there and how much it hurt.

“You’re boyfriend’s just being an idiot. You know that.”

“He’s not my- Yeah, he’s a fucking idiot.”

Surprisingly, it wasn’t any meddling from a coworker that had the two standing across from one another once again. It was another simple misstep, a coincidence.

“Joel.”

“Ray..”

“Where’ve you been old man?” He didn’t mean to sound so angry, but his teeth were clenched shut and his nails dug into his palms painfully. Joel winced, looking anywhere but at the younger man’s pained expression.

“I’ve been… busy.”

Ray let out a scoff, and Joel could hear how tired- exasperated - he was. But he didn’t hear anger, which he expected. He was in the dark, and it made him want to run away all over again. He didn’t know what more to say, waiting-  _hoping_  the other man wouldn’t leave as he stood there like a fish out of water.

“I’ve missed the words. I need me weekly dose of vocabulary you know.”

Joel looked up and was met with the same feelings his words gave him from those big brown eyes. Before he knew what he was doing, his hand went up to rest on the other man’s shoulder. He felt the tension slip from the smaller body, and Ray’s eyes peering into his own.

They were close, but not as close as before. This was comforting after being distant for what felt like years to both of them. Ray took in every detail he could just like before; the way Joel’s brow furrowed, the lines in his face scrunching, and even his brain working, long and hard on what to say or do next. The fingers on Ray’s shoulder clenched the slightest bit harder, a signal that he found what he needed.

“I have one for you I got a few days ago.”

His left hand grabbed Ray’s right, the hand on his shoulder slipping away to reach into his pocket. The younger man felt the paper hit his palm and Joel gently closed his fingers around it for him. His hands lingered there for a few more moments (Ray’s hands were soft and gentle, and Joel’s rough and calloused) before the older man withdrew completely, stepping away and preparing to leave.

Ray watched him go, staring at the back of his shirt until he no longer is in his sights. The feeling of Joel’s fingers remained on his own as he started to unfold the piece of paper and read.

> _en·ig·mat·ic_
> 
> _\ˌe-(ˌ)nig-ˈma-tik\ adj: of or resembling an enigma; puzzling_
> 
> **_I just can’t seem to figure you out -Joel_ **

Ray’s eyes scanned the words over and over again until they started to blend together and his head began to pound.

“You’re the one I can’t figure out, asshole.”

===

It only takes a few days for Ray to come bursting into Joel’s office.

He doesn’t know what he’s going to say (“Hey I’m really smitten with you and we should go have dinner” wasn’t going to work at this point) or if Joel would even be there at all.

But there he is, sitting in his computer chair among a flurry of papers as per usual. If the past two encounters hadn’t happened, Ray would be tempted to just sit on his desk and watch him work. But they had happened, and Ray had to

The furious typing suddenly ceased as the younger man entered. Joel’s eyes were wide like a deer in the headlights and he looked like he wanted to flee. Ray made sure to close the door, leaning against it for good measure.  _‘No running away now’_.

He had to play this cool. He learned long ago that you can rarely be direct with someone like Joel, so he improvised.

“Got any new words for me, Heyman?”

Joel looked thoughtful, his face not betraying any of his thoughts as they usually would. He sighed, loud and low, before he nodded and stood, pushing away his chair.

“Yeah, and it’s my last one I think. I hope you get the message.”

Joel reached down to his bottom drawer to pull out a piece of paper identical to all the others he had given the younger man. It seemed as if Joel had hidden it, from his coworkers or himself Ray couldn’t be sure. He grabbed a Sharpie and wrote slowly, thinking on what he wanted to say and actually going through the effort to be legible. When he finally finished, he walked over and handed it off to the other with slight apprehension. Ray gave him a comforting look before delving into the words on the paper.

> _love_
> 
> _\ˈləv\ n: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person_
> 
> **_That’s the worst definition ever. Let me tell you what love really is. Love is an enigma. It’s hopeful, strong, abundant, uncontrollable…Love is you, Ray -Joel_ **

He honestly couldn’t believe it. The smile that grew on his face had started to become painful, but he couldn’t make himself stop if he tried.

“Yeah.. I get the message you idiot.”

Suddenly, there was a hand in Joel’s collar and he was falling forward. But before he could fall very far, he was caught by chapped yet soft lips on his own. Ray’s glasses dug into his face and it should have been really uncomfortable considering the younger practically thrust his face to his own. But it wasn’t, it was nice and warm and god they’ve both wanted this for so long. Joel sighed into the kiss, his hands situating themselves on the younger’s hips and slipping under his t-shirt to tease at his skin. Ray groaned instead, looping his hands around Joel’s neck to bring their bodies even closer together.

They would have gladly continued sucking at each others’ faces if it weren’t for yet another misstep (literally). This time Joel really was falling forward, landing with an oomph right on top of the younger man. He scrambled to put his weight on his hands, straddling Ray’s hips as he leaned over him.

“You alright?”

“I tripped.”

He said it with a giggle, breathless and flushed from their prior activities. Joel wanted to kiss him again, so he did. It was short and sweet, with breaking away to litter small pecks to the rest of Ray’s face. The giggles grew, and for a moment they felt like they weren’t grown men lying on top of one another on the office floor.

When Joel was finally finished with his barrage of kisses, he looked at Ray tenderly and rubbed his nose against his.

“I love you, Ray.”

Ray practically beamed, face lighting up like Christmas lights and eyes shining brighter than when he saw a brand new game. He didn’t hesitate to let the same words come right back out.

“I love you too. Now please get the fuck off of me before I suffocate.”

“Only if you go to dinner with me tonight.”

“..fine. But we’re going to your apartment after.”

"I was planning on it."


End file.
